Flowery Perfume

Hey everyone! I have lots to share with you today…where to begin?

I’ll talk about something that I don’t normally focus on in my blog posts – using windlight/environmental settings to adjust your lighting in Second Life. You can use windlight to better illuminate your photos, or if you want to create a certain mood. For instance, if you want to take photos of a haunted house, you may want to use darker lighting vs a bright cheery one. Some bloggers choose to use mainly one windlight setting for photos, which gives their photos a distinctive, recognizable look. I’m not that kind of blogger – when you blog indoors, outdoors, casual, formal, fantasy, kinda photos, I think one windlight does not do your photos justice.

In SL Blogger Support, there was a blogger named Criistinaa Chau  who wanted opinions on how she was doing on her blog. Someone asked her what windlight did she use, and she said that she used Juicybomb’s settings. I wasn’t sure how I missed these – maybe because when Gogo put out this blog post I wasn’t really thinking about that yet during my blogging journey. The windlight that I am using is Gogo Hearts SL. I felt like it went well with the outfit that I have on today. One thing that Gogo said about windlights was this:

“A lot of people don’t know this, but the direction that your avatar faces matters when using a Windlight Setting made by someone else. When I am on a pose stand, my avatar is always facing SOUTH, and the blank prim background is behind me.”

I always suspected this, but after seeing how this photo came out…the proof is in the pudding (or photo).

Gizza is a store that I am very fond of, but yet I don’t find myself shopping there as often as I would like. Why? This is what happens – I get the note card from the group about their new releases. I get excited, but at the same time I’m still reading group notices, blogs, Facebook, and Seraphim SL. Because there are so many events lately, each with at least 10 stores that I’m clicking through Seraphim’s gallery to see what they have, Gizza gets lost in the shuffle. Until the next new release from them that is, and then the cycle happens again. Well, I put an end to that today :) This is one of Gizza’s latest releases – Flowery Perfume. I like how there are several colors, changeable by a HUD.

Today is the last day for the elikatira hair sale – all single hair pack colors are only 99L. I got some cute hairs from there. I appreciate the sale lasting until I had recovered from last month’s Hair Fair ^^

Okay – that’s all from me! Until next time, happy shopping!
Styling Credits

Hair: [e] Odette
Skin: Glam Affair – Coral – Jamaica – Lotus
Outfit (including shades): Gizza - Flowery Perfume
Scarf: .Enfant Terrible. Vintage Girl scarf  red
Makeup:
Lipstick: MOCK Cosmetics – Innocente in Sange
Face and chest glitter: Deetalez
Pose: Corpus

 

21 Shoe Event – August Round

Hey everyone – welcome to the August round of the 21 Shoe event! As always, I am showing you what this event has to offer this month, because we all love shoes! This event is for 1 day only, so get to these stores as fast as you can!

For this month, there seems to be a variety of shoes – sandals, wedges, boots. The Miranda shoes from L. Warwick have been mentioned a lot as the shoe to get from this round. But you can be the judge as you check out all of the shoes in this round. Happy shopping!

 

21shoeAug_002David Heather

Demo, 350 L

21shoeAug_001

erratic

Demo, 349L

21shoeAug_005

Hucci

Demo, gift vendor, 295L

21shoeAug_006

KoiKoi
Demo, 295 L

21shoeAug_003L. Warwick

Demo, 399L

21shoeAug_004

Slink

Demo, gift vendor, 399 L

Come Inside

 

Yup – this is actually my room :) I tried to get a lighting that shows that it’s dreary-looking outside, and my room is warm and inviting. Did it work? :D

What inspired this look today is this chemise dress that I have on from ghee. It’s currently at the Black Fashion Fair,which ends on the 22nd. Now, I don’t know if you can see it or not, but this has a small dot pattern (hence called poppy dot). I don’t mind it not being as obvious because this is my vision for my blog post. But if this was a vendor photo, I may want to reconsider my vision. I’ll tell you a story on that (yes, I feel like a storyteller lately ^^).

When I used to be manager of a clothing store a few years back, the owner was struggling with making quality vendor photos. It really sucked because our clothing were of similar quality to other stores, it was just our delivery was lacking. She couldn’t take good photos, and I was just starting to take decent ones but I had so many other responsibilities that I couldn’t take pictures. So we would hire bloggers to take photos – I think it was like 50L a photo or something. It paid off in sales and even got noticed by an event owner.

One day, we got a complaint from the event organizer because the black pants in the vendor picture looked blue. I looked at the photo, and I said hmm you can tell the whole photo has a blue tint to it. So I color corrected the photo (added red) so that the pants would look black. Then she and I got into an argument because whereas I saw off-black, she saw dark blue. I showed her color swatches in off-black and dark blue online and she said no – they were dark blue and blue. She even called her friend in and her friend said the first vendor picture looked like dark blue pants and the second photo looked like off black pants. So as you see, you don’t want your customers to second guess the shade that you used in your clothing.

So, back to my look. The hair is from Exile, called Letters and lipstick, is from Collabor88. I had to use the Letmein HUD, because it’s been over a week and C88 is always full when I try to go there normally. I know the creator of that hud is rolling in some lindens now lol.  They do have a lot of nice things there at C88 – I may blog some of them later. The shoes are from L. Warwick, called Cordelia. The shoes are currently at SLink West.

Stay tuned for more – until then, happy shopping!

 

Styling Card (additional items)

Skin: Glam Affair
Jewelry: Chop Zuey
Pose: Olive Juice

Monica presents ” MOCK Your Fase “

A “MOCK Your Fase” makeup session with Monica Querrien

Hey guys! I am so excited – I have wanted to do this makeup “session” for a while but didn’t have the right inspiration for it. But when Mockie (M.O.C.K. Cosmetics) came out with a new lipstick line, I knew it was time :)

In Second Life, we have been blessed with 5 tattoo layers. This allows us to be able to wear a natural skin makeup, and then add makeup as we see fit. Some people have said that nowadays we need more than 5 layers, but that’s another topic. I personally like to purchase skins with a nice natural tone so that I can create my look. I will show you what I normally do. The only thing that will be different is that I will use everything from one makeup store. Normally, my look would incorporate makeup from several stores.

 

mockurfase_001Au naturel

 

In real life, the first thing you would do after cleaning your face would be to put on any coverup makeup, such as primer, concealer, foundation, etc. This will give your skin a smoother look. Mockie did give us as a gift lip primers. I don’t really use them, but they would be good to help cover up really bold lip color that is on your skin.

This is me with no makeup, just eyelashes. I currently use Mon Cheri’s Falsies – they have three types of lashes according to thickness and length, and a variety of colors. The skin I am wearing is from Glam Affair – Jamaica tone. I find that Glam Affair does very nice natural makeup. Of course there are a variety of skin stores that have natural makeup, but I choose to wear this skin for this session.

 

mockurfase_002Natural eyeliner

The next thing that I do is to use eyeliner. I chose to use Guyliner 2k in this photo because it is natural -looking eyeliner. It fills in any gaps between my lashes and my eyes, and makes it look more complete. I normally use thicker eyeliner, but I couldn’t find anything in my inventory from MOCK that fits the bill. I know the store has them, because I have referred people to the store to get them. I guess I need to go too lol. So what I think I’m going to do is to use slightly different eyeliner.

mockurfase_003Smoked eyeliner

This is called Funsies eyeliner- Smoked Senna C. It gives it a smokier look.

mockurfase_004Eyeshadow

Now for the fun part – layering! I added a Touch of Magic (in Abatwa) over the Smoked Senna. You can still see the senna behind the abatwa color. The Touch of Magic eye shadows give a nice subtle color, so by combining the two shadows, I had my smoky and delicate looks together.

 

mockurfase_005Contouring

In real life, we add highlights and contouring to our face to keep our face from looking too flat after we make our skin smooth and uniform. I admit that I haven’t played around with highlighting and contouring my face in real life. So I decided to do it today in SL by using Nephrias, a contouring blush that Mockie was experimenting with and wanted feedback. I’m not sure if this would work well with a darker skin tone, but as you see, it looks very dark on my skin. However, when I added Dark Tan blush…

mockurfase_006Blush

…it looks a lot better. If I wanted to do post-editing on this, I would blend the blush a bit at the edges to give it a better look. Since most skins come with blush, I’m not sure how effective contouring would be. I have however used Mockie’s blush colors to tone down excessive blush on the skin in the past. This is why it’s important to have a good skin to start with – you don’t want to use up your tattoo layers covering up your skin so you can add color.

Now here comes my favorite makeup– lipsticks! Mockie recently came out with a new set of lip colors called Innocente. I thought the colors were fun and playful, and some of them have quite a fruity look in color.

 

 From top left to bottom right: Tropical fever, Absinthe, Affair, Alizarin, Amaranth, Bare Roman, Cerise, Fever, Jacarta, My Pink, Plumaria, Pomegranate, Sange, Violet Shock

 

Well, this concludes today’s session. I hope you had fun looking at all the different makeups. If you would like to see more makeup looks, just hit me up in the comments section or inworld :)

Who wants to be a bully?

     Today’s blog post is a topic post – not fashion related. But it’s a good read, I promise! :)

           Last Monday, my good friend and I went out to celebrate my RL birthday. We had fun getting manis and pedis, having lunch, and going shopping at the mall. Then I went with her to a workshop hosted by a chapter of the National Association of Professional Women (NAPW), and the topic was on anti-bullying with special focus on children. I won’t disclose what was said because people shared some very personal experiences. But the take home message was, “How do we solve this?”

            When I got home and logged into Second Life, I started to think about how people are bullied online, with a focus on SL and related social media. Cyber bullying is a major issue because people have been known to become depressed and commit suicide over it, and many people still don’t see an issue with it because “it’s just the Internet”. Regarding to SL, people have been known to change their online status, change avatars, and/or even leave SL because of bullying.

            Looking at http://www.erasebullying.ca/, I can see a lot of comparison to SL. For physical bullying, someone who has an agenda against someone could grief sims that the person owned, or rez objects that can impede an avatar’s movement. This has caused people to relocate from places that they call home. We see and hear of people having to relocate in real life as well, but at least in SL it’s a lot cheaper to do so. At the very least, someone can repeatedly bump into someone or block their walk path. If you don’t know how to derender someone or turn off particles, stuff like this can be pretty daunting.

Verbal bullying – people use words to intimidate people all of the time. According to outofthefog.net, invalidation is the creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless. This is huge – think about it. We all have belief systems, activities that we like to participate in, and character strengths and weaknesses. When someone starts chipping away at what makes us “us”, it can weaken us. If it’s done enough, it can even break us.

Social and Emotional bullying – I think I see this the most. People who are in socially appointed positions of power dictate to the community who should be liked, and who should not. It is amazing to me how two people can say the same thing, and one is praised whereas the other is condemned, simply because of their status. And it’s sad when you see people who call themselves advocates for preventing bullying allow their friends to do it. That doesn’t seem much of an advocate to me. If you are not the one to show your friend, then who will? Let’s look at this popular saying here:

“If one man calls you a donkey, ignore him. If two men call you a donkey, think about it. If three men call you a donkey, buy a saddle.”

            Sure, but suppose if the 3 men that are calling you a donkey are drunken men at a bar…would you believe them then? Or, do these men have something to gain by calling you a donkey, or something to lose if they don’t? Keep that in mind next time you are in a conversation and people gang up on you.

            If you find yourself in this situation, make sure you focus on the actual topic at hand. People love to use straw man hat arguments to try to deter from their main viewpoint, especially when they see their argument is not going anywhere. And ignore the “friends” that jump in. Unlike real life physical fights, you don’t have to fight them, too. If the point was really important, then let the main aggressor make the point. When bullies see that you aren’t feeding into their drama, the conversation will die down quickly. Chances are, they can’t perform without a show, and if you don’t give it to them, people will lose interest as the bully loses momentum.

Cyber bullying – I think cyber bullying for children is the worst thing ever. Things that are said or posted can stay online indefinitely through social media. What used to blow over in a matter of days could last for weeks because people can comment. Groups of people can gang up on a person and since all of us to some degree want to be accepted by our peers, it can hurt.

            I always believe in the truth setting you free when it comes to chat logs, because then you have proof of what people have said and can see both sides objectively. Because of this, I don’t say things that I wouldn’t mind the other person knowing. I am not really a fan of Linden Lab’s policy of not showing logs to others within SL (but you can outside of SL). I understand that LL doesn’t want to be liable for what others say, especially in cases of slander. However I am not dishonest, and as far as I know, my friends aren’t dishonest. So when I see people hiding behind TOS (and to me it is hiding because you should be a man/woman of your word no matter what), I just shake my head. When people tell me that they will show someone what I have said, I tell them please do so, and show them the entire transcript so they can see how they have made themselves look foolish. As far as I know, no one has ever done that after I have said that to them. I feel if you have nothing to hide, then it shouldn’t ruffle your feathers too much if people show what you have said to others. You can be upset about the principle of the matter, but not what you actually have said if what was shown was the truth.

 Are all bullies victims?

            The short answer is yes. If you are generally and genuinely happy, you not only view situations differently, but you respond differently as well, even under distress. However, when When you are troubled your perception is altered, and you may become sensitive to certain situations or topics. When people are driven to dominate others through intimidation, it is because of the anger or feeling of helplessness towards the troubling issue(s). This is their way of gaining control of the situation, and many times they feel like they have solved their issue. Some don’t even realize that they have become a bully, and in some cases, a bully for whatever causes that they are fighting.

            I think the key is to figure out what’s driving bullies to act this way towards you (or others) in a given situation, and despite the fact that they may be attacking you, try not to make it about you. This is not saying that you are selfish for taking offence while being verbally assaulted, but if you found out that behind the computer, your aggressor is going through a divorce, is in an abusive relationship or lives in a community that generally does not accept him or her for whatever reason, it puts things in perspective. Suddenly these bullies don’t seem as threatening, and the compassionate side can come out. Sometimes you can turn a bully into a friend, and other times you may just have to walk away because the person has too many issues that they need to work out.

            So, the original question that was brought up in the meeting and my question now: How do we solve this? Or at least how do we address this? Do we know whether or not someone is a bully? Are we bullies? How do we address bullies in a situation when they are targeting a friend? How about a stranger? What happens when the bully is one of your friends – can we be objective, or are we subjective? Do you care more about preserving the friendship, or do you want to do what’s right? When the bullies target us, how do we handle it? How do we handle a group of people jumping in with the bullies and laughing and agreeing with their hurtful words? What do our actions say about us as a society and as individuals?

             This article from safewise.com has a good set of questions to ask yourself to see do you have bullying tendencies: http://www.safewise.com/blog/know-youre-bully/
Focusing on what #8 says:

  1. Don’t say anything in writing you wouldn’t say in person.
  2. Remember tone and intention are often hidden and misinterpreted in text form.
  3. Don’t ever post someone else’s words or images without his or her expressed permission. The Internet is a permanent place.

            I will say that I disagree with their #2. I see people say all of the time that it’s hard to interpret tone and intention in text form. That is a lie. Why? Because we have all taken English (or other native language) and literature classes in school, and especially in upper levels all we do in a given semester is to interpret what the author meant by certain prose and poetry. When we write, be it for a class or to friends on social media, we should always be aware of the tone that we use. However, it is not uncommon for people’s experiences to color their perception. So what do we do in that case? Do we show sensitivity towards those people? How much should we allow before we feel compromised? If the person insists on seeing our words as harmful when we know they were not (and they were not), how do we handle it?

            This is a lot to think about, and I admit when I started writing this, I did not realize how long this would be. I believe that when we can feel something, we can then begin to heal. It’s when you become so numb to the aggression or been the aggressor for so long that you don’t know that you are one is when you have a rough road ahead.