Are Perceptions Reality: How people perceive us in Second Life

I read a blog post by Zivaah Darling several days ago. She talked about how some people perceived her in Second Life. You can read about it here. She then asked proposed this question:

Now the major question is; what would you do?

Change your personality to become friends or seek people more open to accept you the way you are?

Now, this reminds me of a RP post I did a while back (before I came to SL) entitled “Are Perceptions Reality?” And the take home message was yes, it can be. If people perceive you a certain way, it can significantly affect you and your lifestyle.

I remember back in 2010, I was (even then) a shopaholic and a party girl in Second Life. I had a group of friends, and when they started getting into different interests (e.g. club owner, DJ, etc.), I wanted to help. They basically told me to not worry about it and to let the more experienced people take care of it….just keep being cute. Obviously that ticked me off, so in 2011 I went about finding people who would give me a chance in managerial positions. I got to be both an assistant manager at a club, as well as a store manager for a clothing store. And, I also graduated from modeling academy in the same year. So by the end of that year, I had basically changed my persona so to speak.

What was funny about that was when some of my new friends (from 2011) would talk about certain topics (mainly adult), I would chime in on them. They were shocked, because they thought I was conservative and wouldn’t know about such things. I went back and told my old friends (from 2010), and we all had a good laugh. Also, back in 2010 I wore blonde hair for about half that time, then switched to brunette. Towards the end of 2011, I mentioned how I used to be a blonde, and I was laughed at. “You wouldn’t look good as a blonde!” And I had to prove them wrong. Just look at my Flickr – I think I have worn most hair color shades lol. But all of this is harmless…what happens when assumptions can cause harm?

I have been in situations where people accused me of things that were not true (regarding my personality). The mildest (and this is not really an accusation) has been, “Oh you are so nice! I didn’t think you would want to talk to me”. The harshest comments (from people who were my “friends”) was when I was accused of trying to be “perfect” and not wanting to take responsibility for my actions. For people who were never called a friend, they either tried to bully me verbally or attack my hobbies in SL (blogging, modeling, the fact that I like to have jobs in SL, etc.). All because they perceived my words and actions one way, and in reality it was something else. This can get messy when this happens within or between groups and organizations…especially if you hold a key position.

So, to answer the question proposed, I would say if you stay true to yourself, your friends emerge, and the detractors will eventually show themselves. You can then choose to remove them from your SL, or they will hopefully remove themselves first.

Styling Credits

Hair: Tableau Vivant \\  Jade hair – Browns
Skin: Glam Affair – Luna skin – Jamaica
Jewelry: Chop Zuey – Sam I Am
Dress: neve dress – shifty lively
Lipstick: alaskametro<3 “LiquidShine” lipgloss – Mocha
Mattress: Zaara [Goa party] : Patchwork mattress *fuschia*
Location: It all starts with a smile


9 thoughts on “Are Perceptions Reality: How people perceive us in Second Life

  1. portiapexington says:

    Moni, whatever you decide to change, just promise me you’re never going to stray too far from the person you are inside. Blonde or brunette, cute or authoritative, you are a gem and I’m glad to know you. ❤

    Also, it takes guts to be "nice." Not everyone chooses kindness when it's so much easier to be dismissive, sarcastic, ignorant, or noncommittal.

    • ℳøηї says:

      I’m glad to know you too! *hugggss*

      And absolutely! Sometimes I look at people and wonder why do they feel the need to be so mean. It’s like…who hurt you that badly that you have no compassion for others? Ah well…I guess it’s one of those unsolved mysteries.

  2. Zivaah Darling says:

    aww i didn’t think ppl would answer, lol and i really loveeeee your post ♥♥♥ I am a really talkative person and tend to talk to much when i am comfortable with somebody but until then, i am very quiet and this makes ppl look at me differently I guess. thanks for your post on the subject ❤

    • ℳøηї says:

      Some people need others to be just as talkative as they are, I guess. My old boss once said she didn’t “trust” a friend of mine because she was very quiet….and my friend felt ignored by her because even when she did speak, my boss always was kinda dismissive of her.

      I feel that we need some talkative people, and some people who will sit back and take it all in…it’s about balance. I know I like to observe people in unfamiliar situations. I am not even particularly chatty on social media, and I think that’s why some do not want to be my friend (like on Plurk, for instance).

      But yeah…you don’t need friends like that…we can be friends ^^

  3. Magick Thoughts by AmandaMagick (photographer, artist, blogger, PMC team) says:

    Perceptions of who we are are very common in SL. I have gone around the block a few times and changed my world around 3 times. The people who are left from my noob days who are still there.. see who I have become and I am untouchable now. Grins. Always do what you do and don’t let anyone take that from you and most of all don’t let anyone take your joy.

  4. Robert Matthew Goldstein says:

    From my experience, being a member of Second Life carries a stigma for a number of reasons, some of them credible. All that matters is that I know why I joined and I’ve learned how to enjoy my time in Second Life when I log in.

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