The other day I was asked by a guy whether I was a dominant woman, because I “looked” like one. I told a friend, and after taking note of what I was wearing said, “It’s a lace top and a mini[skirt]”.
So that got me thinking – how do we perceive someone to be “dominant”?
This is a photo that I took in on of the skyboxes over at the Manor Suites. They have a nice dungeon scene, and I decided to sit in this lovely chair and treat myself to a few puffs on a pipe as I pondered on my question.
Is it their confidence? How they look? Words that they use? How their words affect others? Their physical stance and attributes?
Some people may say that how I am dressed in my photo would definitely make me look like I am dominant. Dressed in black, laced thigh high boots, hair pulled up and out of my face, and the look on my face could give off those signs. Others may see what I am wearing as an invitation to exert control over me because I am a woman that is showing skin, or simply because they perceive me to be a challenge.
On the other hand, if I were perceived as being submissive, could that give me an advantage? If you know how someone will act because of their assumptions, could you not manipulate the situation to be in your favor? If that is the case, could someone who represents him or herself to be submissive actually be dominant in certain situations?
I am not limiting the terms “dominant” and “submissive” to D/s relationships, but rather on a broader scale. People who are perceived to be dominant at work or in their circle of friends will readily assert themselves, and perhaps do so in an intimidating way. Those who are more submissive may find it harder to be heard, due to a combination of not being able to assert themselves and that people tend to over look them for a few reasons. So they go with the flow, even though they may not always agree with what is being said or done.
By the way…I figured that the guy was looking for an easy lay, so I told him that I was dominant (even though I don’t consider myself to be one or the other). The guy seemed satisfied that he “knew” me and told me goodbye. I guess had I said otherwise there would be more to tell but alas…perhaps another day?
Hair: [elikatira] Kiki
Skin: –Glam Affair – Caroline Skin – New Day – Jamaica
Lingerie: ~Blacklace~ Erielle: Black & Dia Sequins
Boots: REIGN.-Kylie Laced Boots – Black
Chair + Pipe: The Armchair by Abiss – Mistress edition
Location: The Manor Suites